One hard and brutal lesson that I learned is that no one could complete you. Ever since I’ve had my first relationship in high school I always looked to the other to give me some kind of meaning to my life. Most of it was because I had no idea who I was, or even understand the concept of what a relationship is/isn’t.
I carried on the same patterns up until adulthood. I felt like I needed to have a boyfriend in order to feel loved or valued. I needed to be needed. I craved for that validation. I could never be alone. This is what codependency is.
As I started my spiritual seeking I realized that I lacked self love and respect. I had no idea who I was because I always centered my identity within a relationship I was in, or caught up with partying. I was always running away from myself one way or another. So here I was broken and confused. I didn’t know where to begin.
I forced my anxiety ridden and awkward self into uncomfortable situations. Who would of thought eating by yourself was such a nightmare? (Joking) And how could no one ever tell me that taking a hike alone is so peaceful? And I’ll never forget the days I drove to the beach before work, it was such a wonderful experience. That’s when I realized that I enjoyed my own company.
So here I am, typing this up after realizing that I truly broke a karmic cycle. You see there was one more painful lesson I had to learn again. Life is funny that way..
And all I could say is that relationships could be wonderful when there are two people with their own interests, hobbies, and individuality coming together. Not from a place of lack or need, but from a place where you’re whole. No one could truly make you happy, but yourself. The other is never responsible for your state of being. They just come into your life to join you on your journey, and leave when it’s time to.