There I go, walking down the street, head phones in, purse clutched to my chest as if it was a form of security. I make my destination and the sweat starts cooling off my back and my heart beat starts to slow its pace. This was the norm for anything I had to do on my own. This was just an aftermath of picking up my daughter from school.
My family is my safe haven, but alone I’m left in the dark with intrusive thoughts and memories I would rather forget. Feelings of panic that make absolutely no sense linger even when there is nothing to fear. This is my life, and I’m starting to make peace with it, I am healing and I am accepting that this is part of my path? right now.
What’s post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)? I’ll give you the text book definition: postraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
My definition though is a disorder of the spirit, a lingering emotion that hasn’t quiet been processed yet because we hold onto fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of not knowing what to expect, fear of losing our loved ones, you name it. To me it’s a defense mechanism, a shield we have put up on ourselves in order to protect ourselves from anymore harm or exposure to harm of others, or the sudden loss of a loved one. The irony in all this is that we have no control over what happens in life. Thus PTSD is a false defense mechanism. But our spirit doesn’t understand that so we must heal our hearts first.
How do we do this? By loving ourselves and loving others as well. By nurturing ourseleves. By accepting the fact that what happened to us wasn’t ok, but that we could heal from past events. Create a safe space, surround yourselves with loved ones, meditate, exercise, practice yoga, eat nurturing foods. And we could take as much time as we need to, to heal. Healing is a slow process, once we accept that our current circumstances are temporary, a shift happens. That’s when true healing begins.
I can’t stress enough how important mental health is, you can’t get anything done or achieve or manifest what you want in life without taking care of your health as a well. The rat race could wait, you’re important!